


School Rhymes With Sex

by Shayshay



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M, Possessive Sehun, Shirtless Sehun, baby gaybies SeHo, kungfu panda Tao
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-04
Updated: 2017-12-09
Packaged: 2018-12-23 17:09:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11994234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shayshay/pseuds/Shayshay
Summary: Kim Joonmyun is an unfunny bitch.Oh Sehun is probably a nudist.Park Chanyeol is probably high.Byun Baekhyun should really exchange Chanyeol for a real puppy.Huang Zitao needs to stop working out to Eye Of The TigerWu Yifan is probably gonna get cavities soon.Kim Minseok should stop using the wall as an ash tray.Kim Jongdae really needs a stove.Zhang Yixing needs to stop collecting dolls.Lu Han needs to stop trying to give Jongdae cooking lessons.Kim Jongin is probably going to be sleeping outside before the semester ends.Do Kyungsoo needs to use his big boy words instead of judging Jongin silently.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [schmetterlinq](https://archiveofourown.org/users/schmetterlinq/gifts).



> I'm sorry I dropped off the face of the Earth. There's been a lot of misfortune but hopefully my writing didn't suffer.

Junmyeon swiped his keycard and entered his suite, noticing with mild curiosity the ‘EXO’ written on the door. He loomed around suite 310B until he found his room. Opening the door he saw that his roommate had already moved in if the blue suitcase and orange duffel bag meant anything.

After he finished unpacking he heard the door open and quickly craned his neck and was met with the most gorgeous man he'd ever laid his eyes on. And I mean drop dead beautiful...and shirtless...and wet. It seemed he just came from a shower because his hair and chest were still wet and the towel draped around his waist was also a bit wet. It stuck to his skin, leaving nothing to the imagination where it matter. From what Junmyeon could see, he was really packing and he wondered if he’d get to see more. He almost gagged when he saw the man push his hair back and revealing his forehead. He walked further into the room and butt pushed the door closed. He fixed the objects in the shower caddy he was carrying in the hand that didn’t brush back his beautiful black hair and made to walk back to his side of the room but froze as he finally noticed Junmyeon.

“Oh, you must be my roommate. I’m Sehun and you?” Sehun walked over to him and held out his hand. Junmyeon took it by instinct and shook it numbly as he tried to make his heart stop creating an earthquake in his chest.

“Yeah, I’m Kim Junmyeon.” He mentally facepalmed as he gave his full name in his haste to make Sehun think he’s normal. The other boy just laughed and Junmyeon found the way his eyes crinkled at the sides quite endearing. 

“Well it’s nice to meet you, Kim Junmyeon. I guess since you gave me yours I’ll give you mine. My name is Oh Sehun.”

“Nice to meet you.” Sehun laughed even louder at their synchronization and Junmyeon just giggled awkwardly.

“So do you remember everything from the tour? I’ve been here for two days and I just spent the entire time wandering around so if you don’t know where everything is I’ll give you a tour.” Sehun continued talking to Junmyeon as he got dressed. Junmyeon tried to give him his privacy but he still couldn’t help but stare. He really did have great body. Something Junmyeon would like to be pinned un---

‘What the fuck are you thinking Kim Junmyeon?’ Junmyeon coughed to clear his throat, finally averting his gaze from the Adonis in front of him. “Um, I’ll take that tour.”

Sehun turned back to face Junmyeon in a pair of really tight black skinny jeans. “That’s great, I’ll get ready. It’ll be just like a date.”

Sehun’s flirty little wink made Junmyeon’s heart stop before starting up again in overdrive. “Ah yeah, gimme a second. I need to go get a drink of water.”

Junmyeon hurriedly scurried out of the room, making sure he had his keycard. He really needed to get out of the room, he could swear it was getting hotter in the room. Maybe it was because Sehun still hadn’t put a shirt on and his chocolate abshad Junmyeon putting all his effort into suppressing a moan.

~Sehun POV~

‘So he’s my roommate, huh?’ GOD he’s so cute. I never imagined it would be this hard to not jump somebody. He’s so tiny and adorable, it’d be so fun to cuddle him, he’d make a pretty good body pillow. And if I’d get to thrust into that plump little ass. Mmmmmm.” Sehun liked his lips before going back to getting dressed.

~Junmyeon POV~

‘Goddammit how can someone be that perfect?!’ Junmyeon though as he leaned on the sink outside one of the bathrooms in their suite. He splashed some water on his face before spinning around and heading back to their room. As he went to go swipe his card he froze. ‘Alright, wait a minute. Why am I checking out a guy again?! I’m not gay! Am I gay?!’

He ran back to the mirror and looked at himself, as if expecting a physical change. ‘I mean, I love the gays but I’M not gay. Maybe I am...fuck. Why didn’t I think about this before? I should’ve known since I saw Jinki shirtless and had that wet dream.’

He started at his reflection for a few more seconds before shrugging and going back to the room, praying to hell Sehun put a shirt on, because his heart couldn’t take much more of this.

~Third Person POV~

Junmyeon walked back to a, thankfully fully dressed, cheerful Sehun. He leaned on his bed twirling his phone in one hand, both elbows resting on the mattress. He still looked deliciously sexy, even with his mouthwatering chocolate abs covered. ‘Bad Junmyeon, stop thinking about how firm they would be under your hands. Or how good it would feel to be manhandled by those bulging biceps. Oh god. I need a filter.’

“You ready?” Junmyeon gave a small box and Sehun jumped up crossing the room in three long strides grabbing Junmyeon's hand and pulling him behind him. The latter just blinked a couple times, confused on how Sehun got to him so quick. It wasn't until they left their building that he regained enough cognitive ability to not trip over the flight of stairs it took to exit the circle of dorms in Henderson Village. “As you know this is Henderson Village, they're the newest dorm buildings. The building we live in, eight, is the newest. That's why it's so expensive.”

Sehun pointed to the parking lot to their right. “This is the commuter parking. Commuters, people not living on campus, park here but they need a permit. The cost around $200 or so.” He pointed to their left. “This is part the faculty parking lot. Its separated by the walkway to the Johnson building.”

The walked through the parking lot, Sehun parking out Henderson five on their left and the Stephen Agricultural building on their left. “This is the Johnson building, all your art and design courses are held here. It also has the Game Design major and the Film and Production major home-based there. As you can see by the benches and the gazebo, this is a popular place to hang out for the students. Behind us the Henderson Mail Office; it's named Henderson but it has mail for the entire campus. Both residents and commuters, if they choose to, can have their letters sent here. They all have their own lockers and in order to pick anything up you have to show your ID. In front of the mail office we have a volleyball court, this is used for the recreation of the students. If you want the balls however you have to ask the RD’s in Henderson One.” 

~Around An Hour Later~

“Did you get all that?” Junmyeon lay on his back spread eagle on the grass of the quad. With Sehun sitting cross legged next to him, plucking blades of grass out one at a time.

“Yeah totally. I'm fucking starving.” As if to confirm his statement his stomach let out a loud rumble making him flush and look away in embarrassment. Sehun just laughed and pushed himself up, reaching a hand out to help Junmyeon up. Pulling a little too hard and propelling Junmyeon into his chest with a ‘thump.’ 

“You're much lighter than I thought you'd be. Come on, let's go.” Sehun ignored Junmyeon’s indignant squawk and just continues to walk toward the dining hall, which was directly across from the quad. “You have your keycard, right?”

Junmyeon scoffed and muttered ‘yeah’, huffing in frustration when Sehun laughed at him once more. “Good, you'll need it. In order to get in, you have to swipe your keycard.”

“Okay. What do they normally have?” They arrived at the door to the Dining Hall and Sehun held the door open for Junmyeon as the smaller male inquired as to the delicacies served by the, surprisingly neat looking, dining area.

“Um, it varies day by day. Most of the time it sucks ass. Not even kidding, like, how do you fuck up macaroni and cheese? I there even a way? The only thing here that tastes decent is the deserts. And the ice cream machine breaks sometimes. But hey, they have a waffle machine.” Sehun shrugged and swiped his card at the register at the front of the dining hall and waited for Junmyeon to swipe his before giving him a tour of the inside. “Over here on the right we have the juice machine. A but further down we have the soda machine. On your left you can see the coffee machine, the toaster on the and microwave on the right. Coming up on your left, the cream machine, milk machine and milk fridge; the fridge holds the special milk. The lactaid, soy and almond. Just in case you're lactose intolerant.” 

Junmyeon followed Sehun, turning left at the little opening that seemed to lead to where all the food was, nodding in understanding and telling milk puns that had Sehun cringing and shaking his head. “Oh my, there's so much to choose from!”

“Haha! Yeah, seems like it doesn't it?” Junmyeon nodded fervently, picking up a plate and placing two slices of cooked salmon on it. He turned to his right and fell in love with the salad table. 

“Sehun, I THINK I'M GOING TO LOVE IT HERE.” He heard Sehun laughing in the background and left him behind to find a table, plate overflowing with lettuce and eggplants. He chose a both and placed his plate down to get a drink. “So many choices! I think I'll just take a caramel milk chocolate coffee.”

Needless to say Junmyeon enjoyed his lunch, especially the salad, while Sehun just ate his burger and listened to him chatter away happily about how he loves the campus and wanted to go to the recreation center to swim. After an hour or so they headed back to their dorm, pleased to hear voices coming from their suite.

“I guess our suitemates are back. Let's go say hi, Sehun.” Junmyeon swiped his card and opened the door to absolute chaos. The first thing he hears is Eye of The Tiger by Survivor and the cling of what sounded like...metal dumbbells? Then a yell of ‘hey that' mine. Get your own, Yifan!’ Opening the door fully he saw a freakishly tall man holding a lollipop over his head, trying to keep it away from a shorter male.  
“Nuh-uh. It's mine and you know it! Zitao, Jongdae’s being mean to me again!” Who can only be Yifan yelled, and Jongdae slapped him on the chest before running and hiding behind a shorter, wide framed, purple haired male.

“Minseoook~. It's not fair, he's calling his boyfriend! Do something, babe.” He clung to ‘Minseok’s back and trembled. Another tall, ‘fuck these giants are gonna be the death of me’, dark haired male walked out of the room blasting the music and stood next to Yifan, wrapping an arm loosely around his waist.

“What’s wrong?” Yifan wriggled uncomfortably and started sniffling.

“Jongdae says I took his lollipop, but it’s mine.” He laid his head on Zitao’s shoulder and the shorter rubbed his back and shushed him. Fixing Jongdae with a glare causing him to yelp in fear and cower behind Minseok once again.

“Now, Jongdae, the lollipop belongs to Yifan, right?” Zitao’s voice was low but dangerous and Jongdae only nodded quickly, frightened into silence. The taller man’s face broke into a brilliant smile and he bid them all ado and went back to his room, sweat dripping down his forehead. 

A pink haired male walked in with a taller blonde beside him, holding an antique doll to his chest. The blonde sat on the sofa, pulled out a comb and started to comb the doll’s hair, while the pink haired walked up to Jongdae and held out a piece of paper. Jongdae took it and they both headed towards the sofa. The pink haired male sat next to the blonde and placed his hand on his thigh.

As they sat down a tall, lanky and overexcited red head came bounding through the common room, followed by a significantly shorter black haired male. 

The shorter one yelled out, waving a silver item around in his hand. “Chanyeol, down boy!” 

The taller male did a complete 180 and stopped in his tracks, bowing his head so the shorter male could place the shiny object around his neck, which Junmyeon now recognized as a collar. He raised an eyebrow at Sehun who just shook his head with a ‘don’t ask questions’ look. 

“Baekhyunie, I want steak. You said I could have it if I was a good boy and I was. STEAK!” The taller male stomped his foot in a tantrum and pouted.

“Yes I know, you’re my good boy. Let’s get some steak later, okay?” He rubbed behind Chanyeol’s ear and the other giggled. “Good boy. Now, where’s Jongin?”

“I don’t know. I think he and Kyungsoo went shopping or something.” Sehun choose that moment to announce his presence, causing all the occupants of the common room to look up at him. Noticing Junmyeon, they all rushed towards the pair, ganging up on them like a group of ajummas looking at salmon in a market.

“Zitao, come out here we have a guest!” Yifan yelled out, and the music was promptly shut off. Zitao joined them a moment later, this time with a towel around his neck.

Jongdae poked Junmyeon’s cheek in intrigue. “It’s so cute. What is it?”

Sehun slapped his hand away, and rolled his eyes, feeling a bit jealous at the small contact. “‘It’ is my roommate, Junmyeon.”

“Hi everyone, I’m Junmyeon.” He did a small wave, with his right hand, his left holding on for dear life to the back of Sehun’s T-shirt. One by one they all introduced themselves, startled at the sound of two additional voices behind them.

“I’m Kyungsoo.” A tiny short haired male introduced from the doorway, a small shopping bag in hand.

“And I’m Jongin.” The taller male beside him said trying to wave but both hands were filled with shopping bags causing him to stumble a bit under the weight, earning a chuckle from everyone except Junmyeon who reached to help him and Kyungsoo who just rolled his eyes and continued to his room.

“Jongin, Chanyeol and I were going to get steak later and we were wondering if you wanted to come?” Jongin yelled a quick ‘ok’ before disappearing into his and Kyungsoo’s room to put his baggage away. “Actually, why don’t we all go together? It’ll be a kinda welcome party. We’re leaving in five hours so rest up guys, we’re going all night.”

Everyone murmured in agreement and dispersed to their selective rooms. The restaurant they went to was actually pretty high end, or it would be if not for the fact that it was walking distance from campus and 12 college students were eating together and behaving like preschoolers. All in all, they had a pretty good time. Junmyeon was welcomed into the group like one of their own and he found out that all of them actually grew up together and decided to go to the same college because they thought their personalities were too terrible to survive around anyone but eachother. Junmyeon found this funny because they really didn’t seem that bad. Oh how wrong he was.

Over the next month he’d discovered all their bad habits and man were they bad. Between Zitao’s constant need to play Eye of The Tiger; Jongdae and Luhan bringing burnt food into the suite and making him ‘try’ it; Chanyeol’s overexcitement; Baekhyun’s weird way of treating him like a puppy; Yixing buying new dolls and ‘decorating’ the common room with them--their cold blank eyes gave him the creeps--; Jongin’s need to walk around in a bra and pantyhose because they ‘breath better’ than regular clothes; Minseok’s lighting matches just to watch them burn and then stubing them out on the wall and making him clean them; Yifan leaving candy wrappers everywhere; Kyungsoo coming to him to complain about Jongin’s weird sleeping habits instead of saying it to said male; and Sehun’s habit of never wearing a goddamn shirt; he was going crazy.

It was a long weekend and he decided to stay in the dorm instead of going home. The rest of them decided to go to a party before going home. He told them no but before he knew it he was wrapped up in a sweater and jeans and sitting on a packed couch in one of the frat houses while jocks he barely knew drank, cracked jokes and tried to chat him up. He accepted a beer offered to him by a brunnette that was laying it on a bit too thick, before excusing him to go sulk in a corner. Before he realized, it was his fifth bottle and he was on the floor grinding against some green haired jock, wearing a football jersey. He let the guys hands wander, too far gone to care. That is until he felt something hard against his ass and stiffened, that really sobered him up. He tried to get away but the other man was taller and more muscular. He struggled for a few minutes before, all at once the hands holding him back were gone and he was being pulled outside and away from the man who was now grasping his stomach in pain, by an emotionless Sehun. One look back and Junmyeon saw Zitao pulled his fist back and connect it with the asshole’s face, his face contorted in fury. From that moment on Junmyeon swore to never in a million years get Hwang Zitao mad.

Once back in their suite Junmyeon felt himself be picked up and thrown over Sehun’s shoulder. He was sat down top of the latter’s neat desk much more gently than he thought he would be.

“HOW?” Sehun’s voice was low and tight, like he was trying to keep himself from snapping.

Junmyeon could still feel the effects of the alcohol in his system as his mind found great difficulty in wrapping his head around the meaning of the question. “How what?”

“How, can you let an asshole like that touch you? You belong to me.” He gripped the sides of the desk tightly and clenched his teeth together, trying to control his animal instinct.

“What? Since when do you own me? I don’t belong to anyone!” Even in his tipsy state, Junmyeon still found it in himself to feel indignant.

“You’ve been mine since I first laid eyes on you. And I’ll tell you something I do not like when others touch my things.” Before Junmyeon could complain once more Sehun surged forward and connected their lips in what seemed like the most long awaited present Junmyeon’s ever expected. 

Within minutes he had him naked and was staring at him hungrily. He started from his forehead and kissed his way down Junmyeon’s body, stopping to toy with his nipples. Nipping lightly when the smaller male shuddered under him on his bed. Moving down slowly, placing little kisses on his stomach and continuing lower, sucking a mark into the inside of Junmyeon’s thigh. He took a hold of Junmyeon’s slowly hardening member and sucked on the head eliciting a moan from Junmyeon. He raised his free hand and put three fingers to Junmyeon’s lips, the latter silently parting his lips and sucking on Sehun’s fingers. When he felt they were wet enough he brought them down to Junmyeon’s entrance and slowly circled the puckering of muscles with his middle finger before dipping the tip in. Junmyeon hissed at the slight discomfort but made no move to stop him. Sehun stretched him slowly and efficiently, working his way up to three fingers at a torturous pace which had Junmyeon sobbing with impatience. Since he refused to hurry Junmyeon took matters into his own hands. He flipped them over and sat himself on Sehun’s lap, rubbing his dick between his ass cheeks before finally positioning above it and slipping down all in one go. He let out a silent scream at the burning stretch and collapsed into Sehun’s chest taking a few moments to settle his breathing. Picking up and dropping down onto Sehun’s lap at an increasing pace, his own sounds drowning out Sehun’s pleasured grunts as Sehun started meeting his bounces, hitting that bundle of nerves that made him see a white light and reach for heaven. Sehun reached for his dick and started stroking him spastically as his thrust became erratic. Junmyeon finally came with a shout of Sehun name, tightening around Sehun as the latter filled his insides with his hot jizz.

Once again Junmyeon fell into Sehun’s chest, their labored breaths falling in sync. He let out a little chuckle and stroked Sehun’s chest, looking up at him with big brown eyes.

“What?” Sehun went to go move but Junmyeon pushed him back down, lifting up and whispering against his lips.

“I’m gay.” Sehun muttered about him being an idiot but kissed him either way.


	2. What just happened?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something strange is happening in suite 310B. Something UNEXPECTED.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told you I'd continue. THIS is what I do when I'm supposed to be studying. XD

 Sehun and Junmyeon may, or may not, have been making out behind the couch. That is, until Luhan walked out of his room and Jongdae left his. They met in the middle of the common room and looked anywhere but at eachother. They spoke in hushed whispers, but in the quiet room the two behind the couch could hear them loud and clear.  
  
 Jongdae was the first to speak. "You got the stuff?"  
  
 Luhan scoffed and reached under his mohagony T-shirt and pulled out a small wooden box. "Of course; I'm never late for a delivery."  
  
 "Is it the good stuff? I don't want any low quality trash like last time."  
  
 "Watch your mouth. Of course it's the good stuff. My contact last time was...less than desirable. This time it's the real deal."  
  
 "Alright, if you say so." Without another word they both spun on their heels and walked back into their rooms.  
  
 Sehun and Junmyeon left their hiding spot as soon as they were gone. Junmyeon was stark white and Sehun was just...pleasantly surprised.  
  
 "Did we just witness a drug deal?" Sehun turned to his boyfriend, raised an eyebrow and shrugged before pulling them both back into their room to continue their prior activities.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it. Don't worry it's not what you think, believe me. Seriously, I swear on the apples I love. OTL


	3. Collar of Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What's the secret behind Chanyeol amd Baekhyun's relationship?

 "Why do you put Chanyeol in a collar?" Junmyeon asked Baekhyun while watching the weekly reruns of Impractical Jokers in his and Chanyeol's room.

  
 Baekhyun smirked glancing at Chanyeol's bed with a kind of nostalgic feeling bubbling in the pit of his stomach. He chuckled a bit before turning to Junmyeon at the start of the commercial break.

  
 "It all started around 10 years ago." He leaned back on his wall. "I love dogs and I've always wanted one but my mother was allergic so I couldn't get one. Back then we always used to call Chanyeol a puppy because he's always so energetic and feelsy. I thought 'I already have Chanyeol, why should I get a puppy? I can't handle two.'"

  
 Baekhyun laughed at his own joke before continuing.

  
 "And I also came to the realization that no dog could EVER be as cute as Park Chanyeol and no person or animal could ever replace him for it. That's when I started treating him ike a puppy. He didn't mind and seemed to love the attention. Around three years later I asked him out and be said yes. I was so happy, I remembering running to Jongdae's house after I walked him home from school to tell him and all he said was 'Well it was about damn time. Now can you close the door, I'm trying to change?' It kinda opened my eyes to the fact that, to everyone else, I treated Chanyeol differently. He was special to me from the start." He smiled down into his can of sprite. "I got him his first collar for our five year anniversary and explained to him why I got it. He just told me 'I know how important animals are to you and I feel special that you put me before them.' He looked really happy once he put it on. He said that it was a proof of our love. Kinda like an early engagement ring. My heart soared to think he wanted to spend eternity with me. The next day everyone was confused as to why our lips were swollen; except Jongdae who just trolled the shit out of us. We also had to explain the collar and let's just say, I never knew Sehun read our health book cover-to-cover until he gave us a lecture on safe sex in the back our history class."

  
 They shared a laugh at that one and did a cheer with their soda cans, a forgotten bag of chips sitting on Baekhyun's desk--just arms length away from both. The door opened for a very exhausted Chanyeol two episodes later and Junmyeon got kicked out. According to Baekhyun because he wanted to 'rediscover why he fell in love with the love of his life.' Junmyeon just rolled just his eyes and left the happy couple to their own devices. Just a glimpse of Baekhyun sucking on Chanyeol's neck with the latter's fingers matted in his hair and he knew to make a speedy retreat.  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I'm highly disappointed in myself on how the smut turned out.


End file.
